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Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. All need love and to be loved. But love is not enough.
The depth truth of the matter is that love only works when it is combined with other factors to make it grow; like respect, humility, compatibility and commitment. Relationships based on the feelings of love alone short span, because love can’t stand on its own, and love does not always equal happily ever after.
A famous song :- “All You Need Is Love” was written by John Lennon 26 June 1967 especially for Our World, the world’s first televised satellite link-up between 25 countries worldwide. Its message perfectly the optimistic mood of the Summer of Love. But fact of study tells that John Lennon was not very happy with his two wives and he use to beat them also sent out his own son from home.
So friends _ a person with lot of mood swing telling the world loud that all we need is love but he himself go wrong. Makes us think……….
Exactly 35 years later, Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails wrote a song called “Love is Not Enough.” Reznor, despite being famous for
his shocking stage performances he realize that love is not enough to be really happy and content, he says in the lyrics “ the sooner we realize We cover ourselves with lies But underneath we’re not so tough”, we miss something more than love.
Married one woman, had two children with her, and then canceled entire albums and tours so that he could stay home and be a good husband and father. This is another story both are very contradicting to each other. One say love is enough and other say love is not enough.
Now let us reflect upon how love alone is not enough:-
One of these two men (John Lennon and Trent Reznor ) Trent Reznor had a clear and realistic understanding of love. But John Lennon did not. One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of them did not.
Many say love conquers all and that all you need is love, but unfortunately a solid relationship needs more than that. It requires being there for each other, showing support, feeling loved, being grateful that you are sharing your lives together, and above all, showing your appreciation every day.
There are 10 reflections that shows love alone in not enough . You need to do more.
1. If someone does not really want to be with you, they will test you. They will dig out the depth of their feelings for you without your knowledge at times. They will try you on as a partner, without making it official. They will come up with excuses like “it’s just not the right time” when really, it’s that they just don’t feel the right way.
2. It is very fact and sensible that _You don’t lose yourself in love unless you want to lose yourself in love. There’s an uneasy fear that people have of thinking they will have to be less themselves in order to be for someone else being in their life, but that only tends to happen when there’s uncertainty or a desire to escape in the first place.
3. Friends know this one clearly_Another person cannot save you, but when you feel completely loved for who you are really are and as you are, love can make you feel strong enough to save yourself from the any difficult situations. Move and don’t look back again.
4. My dears:-You won’t always know the instant that you see someone that you are meant to be with the person for good. Forever is built on a million little nows, and that’s why to be in a good relationship, you have to value what it is rather than what you imagine it to be. You have to work on it today, rather than hoping it will be different tomorrow. Don’t wait, it is your life, you need to value it first.
5. Yes dear friends:- Love is enough_ is not only false advice, it is bad one. Because it should be replaced with_ Willingness is enough because love is great but doesn’t mean commitment, and like-mindedness is great but doesn’t mean love. It is the willingnessto be in a relationship that holds you together for good. If not you are free to chose your life.
6. Your passionate love is not enough to sustain a relationship!
We clearly know how it starts. A person falls in love, participates in some wild deep and passionate love making, and forgets the world while being completely lost in love and then reality starts to kick in. comes to awareness that ohh… have I gone too far? Have I made a mistake? All these questions leave you in confusions. Your ever increasing expectations cannot be matched now. You now feel love is worthless which takes away all of your happiness. And this is where we get it all wrong. For a relationship to sustain, you need passionate love, but there are countless other things to care about too. We all know what those are.
7. If you let yourself grow and become aware through those expectations, you’ll find that they will turn you into more not less of the person that you wanted to be lifelong. The right partner will respect oneself enough to demand respect from you. So learn and be patient to get the right one.
8. Love feeling is very nice. In fact, the most amazing thing about a good relationship is that it makes you more yourself than ever before you feel that you are the best, you start liking yourself. It makes you more confident, clear, honest and self-assured than you can ever remember feeling. It also makes you more sensitive. When your child self feels genuinely loved, their feelings come out… especially the ones you’ve been suppressing for a long time. You become more free and happy. We all know love is a wonderful experience. And we all know how love changes lives. Love is necessary and love is great. But love is not enough to sustain a relationship. This is fact because we find very many examples in our surrounding.
9. Love will not come when you think it should. It takes its time and space, love demands your patience. You not find love how you thought it would be. Love will feel different than you imagined it could. Life has a funny way of removing the people who aren’t good for you, and handing you the ones that are – even if you disagree with that assessment at first. It comes to you when you are never expected .We don’t always know what’s best for us until we try.
10. Romance is common. It’s best friendship on top of romancethat is rare, but makes for a happy, lifelong partnership.
When it is the right person, you don’t think about things like timing. You only think about how you can reorient your life to this relationship, because nothing has seemed to matter more. But wait till you get the right one. , to get right one you need to work and get to work on trying to build the relationship of your dreams. As long as you sit around waiting for the perfect partner to find you, you’ll be waiting forever. Good relationships are consciously designed, and maintained.
The hard truth of love:-
You can fall in love with a variety of people throughout the age of your life. You can fall in love with people who are good for you and people who are bad for you. You can fall in love in healthy ways and unhealthy ways. You can fall in love when you’re young and when you’re old. Love is not unique. Love is not special.
But your self-respect, your dignity is most impotant. So is your ability to trust. There can potentially be many loves throughout your life, but once you lose your self-respect, your dignity or your ability to trust, they are very hard to get back. We can land up with mature love relationship or immature love relationship. It’s all on us how we handle life.
Love is a wonderful experience. It’s one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. And it is something everyone should aspire to feel and enjoy.
But like any other experience, it can be healthy or unhealthy. It can break and build a person too. Like any other experience, it cannot be allowed to define us, our identities or our life purpose. We cannot let it burry us. We cannot sacrifice our identities and self-worth to it. Because the moment we do that, we lose love and we lose ourselves.
We see love as some straight forward way to cure all our problems, a way to infinite happiness, and for most of us, it’s a goal we try to achieve at any cost. Taking time and reflecting on self is also need.
1. Love is not always worth sacrificing yourself:-
One of the important characteristics of loving someone is that you are able to think outside of yourself and your own needs to help care for another person and their needs as well.
But ask oneself often enough is exactly what are you sacrificing, and is it worth it?
In loving relationships, it’s normal for both person to occasionally sacrifice their own desires, their own needs, and their own time for one another. Yes, that this is normal and healthy and a good part of what makes a relationship so great.
Yet when it comes to sacrificing one’s self-respect, one’s dignity, one’s physical body, one’s ambitions and life purpose, just to be with someone, then that same love becomes problematic. A loving relationship is supposed to supplement our individual identity, not damage it or replace it.
2. Love does not solve your relationship problems:-
I have seen people falling in love and marring each other going against all the storm of life. Going against the opinions of others, family and friends. But after a year or two they themselves fight and get separated:. Why all these: – all these happen because love does solve relationship problems. It can if we are very strong in emotions and understand each other’s.
We see many love marriages have broken.
3. Love does not equal compatibility:-
Just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a good partner for you to be with over the long term. Love is an emotional process; compatibility is a logical process. And the two don’t bleed into one another very well.
It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who treat us very bad, who makes us feel worse about ourselves, who doesn’t hold the same respect for us as we do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves that they threaten to bring us down with them.
It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who has different ambitions or life goals that are contradictory to our own, who holds different philosophical beliefs or worldviews that clash with our own sense of reality.
It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who sucks for us and our happiness.
Yes whatever we saw all are hard truth of love but we can make heaven on earth with this feeling of love how let us see:-
1. Quality time as a couple (friends):-
It is vey important to schedule quality time with each other—getting out of the house and spending time together away from all the issues of our life; taking the step back and just being with each other.
It’s important to set some time aside to just be a couple; spend quality time together regularly, but especially during hard times. This doesn’t need to involve money; just a walk down the park together or along the beach will help. Just taking yourself out of your home environment will be beneficial. If you are really thinking of spending your life together please give quality time for each other.
2. Being Ourselves and Being Truthful :-
One of the blessings of building safety in a relationship is that we feel free to be ourselves. Life is richer when we find a partner and friends with whom to enjoy the special connection that comes from being ourselves and feeling accepted as we are. As two people feel safe to be vulnerable with each other-expressing tender feelings and desires without the fear of criticism or rejection—the connection grows.
Emotional safety also requires telling the truth and keeping agreements.
Communication to each other openly and freely is what keeps us going. Let there be hard time or happy moment; communicate to your partner about your feeling freely. Cry together, laugh together.Consciously work on our communication. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements.
This will help you be open with how you feel, will stop you from shutting each other, and allowed you to talk about your issues in a productive and efficient way.
Find Emotional Safety
When we feel emotionally safe, we feel internally relaxed with a person. Our guard is down and our shields don’t go up when we interact. We feel free to be authentic, which includes expressing our hurts, discontents, and longings without fearing that we’ll be criticized or shamed.
This is a most amazing way to go on in a relationship. Appreciates your partner for the things done for you:- a small thing may be but hearing your appreciation it takes the partner a long way..
It also makes you feel good to be acknowledged and appreciated for what we do on a daily basis. It delights to hear the other person say thank you, even though we are being thanked for doing our expected roles.
It was important for us to hear the gratitude from the other person so we don’t feel like we are being taken for granted.
5. Showing love as the other person wants to receive it:-
Give and show your love to your partner as he/she want to receive it or like to take it. It’s give and give and take basis.
How your partner receives your love is important. You can’t assume the other person knows that you love them.
If your partner loves quality time with him/her, make the effort to talk and listen. On the other hand, if other one likes to receives love by affirmations by compliments and positive statements give it.
Yes love is not enough we need more but above all, if you are fortunate enough to share your life with someone you love, then you owe it to yourself and your partner to make an effort every day in your relationship a place of heaven on earth.
Please write a comment below to know what your opinion about love:-