“Attention is the most important currency that anybody can give you,” Steve Rubel of Edelman once told. “It’s worth more than money, possessions or things.”
Making friends is not easy; there are these bothersome tasks of small talk, awkward silences and lack of eye contact. Rather than face this horror, most of us stick to our group of friends and simply avoid making new acquaintances unless it’s totally necessary.
Yet, making new friends is incredibly beneficial. Not only will it expand your social circle, it will also help you develop your interpersonal skills. By continuously adding new people to your social sphere, you’ll develop stronger social skills and learn how to be more likable.
And, while likability has a lot to do with the way you look, what’s really important is how people feel when they’re around you.
Your long-term success depends on winning the attention of others.
If your boss doesn’t notice your work, how will you get a promotion?
If your team doesn’t listen to you, how can you lead effectively?
And if you can’t capture the attention of clients, how does your business or career survive? And most importantly:- Why if Your friends are avoiding you?
Friends today we will discuss how to attract/impress others in 90 sec of conversation. Because to get a satisfied life personally or professionally we need to get attention the personal respect. The author of the book how to make people like in 90 sec:-by author Nicholas Booth man:-
After reading and reflecting I have made some understanding which may help us to create a positive communicator and happy gelling up in the group.
In Today’s world we most of us have lost attention span. For example in adds they grab our attention in a 2 to 3 sec if we like then we give attention to it if not we just ignore the add. So too to take attention from anyone we just need few seconds. And we make that decision in the first two seconds of seeing them.
I think what we respond to in somebody else is their attitude and you can spot that in a flash. In today’s busy social and fast growing world these little techniques are important personally as well as professional.
2. Establishing rapport
To impress anyone to like you:-we meet people and we start to communicate but in between we have small point called rapport which is very important and many of do not focus to it.
When we meet people and start talking to them we have 90 sec rapport that is important which actually defines us how we are.
1. Meeting: –
when we meet people, within 3 to 4 second we give good or bad impression of ourselves but here we are to how we can give very good impression tips to learn:- Likable people are open, welcoming and friendly, signaling self-confidence, sincerity and trust.
The first things a new person will notice about you are your body, your eyes and the expression on your face, and it’s essential for all three of these elements to emit a feeling of openness. Your posture can be divided into two categories: open and closed.
Be open-be open means we talk about body language and our attitude ___ Yes, and it’s just remarkably simple because although you can’t stop people going to snap decisions about you when you see them for the first time, you can make a few slight alterations to yourself to give a good first impression. First impression is the best impression.
Open body language exposes your heart and body, signaling to others that you’re not only willing to communicate, but that you’re enthusiastic about it. As a result, when two people begin a conversation with their hearts facing one another, a powerful connection forms and trust becomes more likely to solidify.
On the other hand, closed body language protects the heart through gestures that express resistance, frustration, impatience and nervousness.
Crossed arms are one of the most common instances of defensive body language, as crossed arms protect one’s heart and therefore one’s feelings. However, turning your body sideways relative to your conversation partner can also evoke a similar feeling.
And body language isn’t just about, well, your body. It’s also about your face and its expressions, which can be open or closed as well.
For example, an open face smiles and makes eye contact, with a dynamic expression and raised eyebrows. On the other hand, a closed face is stern and avoids eye contact.
So, if you want people to trust what you say, you need to be sure that your body is saying the same thing. In other words, what you say, how you say it and the signals your body sends while you say it all need to be aligned.
If they’re not, the other person will feel the discomfort held in your body and both of you will feel unpleasant. Just think of a friend telling you that he’s fine while he looks away with crossed arms and a tapping foot. It’s not hard to tell that he certainly doesn’t seem fine.
People tend to hire and even date people that look like themselves, as well as those that make them feel comfortable and safe. This makes sense since we usually feel good in the company of people, whose behavior is in sync with, and influences, our own.
In fact, even if you don’t realize it, you’ve been synchronizing yourself with other people since the day you were born. A baby’s body rhythm is synchronized with that of her mother, and, later in life, this tendency continues.
The next thing is to adjust your attitude mean good useful attitudes like empathy, warm, welcoming, helpful or respectful.
Let me share the list of useful attitude which will help us better ourselves to be liked by others: – below diagram will show you how you can :-
2. Establishing rapport
This synchronization is a major part of our lives and is especially important when it comes to building an immediate rapport.
But what exactly is meant by synchronization in this context?
Specifically, it refers to discreetly copying and imitating the gestures of your conversation partner, as well as their body posture, facial expressions, breathing and voice.
To do so, you can either match the person exactly or mirror them as if you were their reflection. Synchronizing with your conversation partner’s voice can be a particularly powerful tool, especially if they speak in a quiet voice and you tend to be quite loud.
Naturally, your partner will feel more at ease speaking with someone who shares their same gentle tone.
People who are predominantly visual care a lot about how things look.
They generally tend to think in pictures, dress sharply and talk very fast.
These people like to use expressions like “how do you see yourself? or “I see what you’re saying.”
Some people love conversation, have fluid, melodic, expressive voices and enjoy words as well as sounds.
As a result, they gravitate toward careers in broadcasting, teaching and the law. They tend to say things like, “sounds familiar”, “tell me more” and “I didn’t like the tone of his voice.”
Finally, some people like solid things that they can feel.
They have lower voices, like textured clothing and tend to speak very slowly. Often, they’ll use expressions like “how do you feel about . . . ?” and “I’ll get in touch with her.”
By matching your responses to a person’s dominant sense, you can make them like you more in 90 seconds or less.
Endearing yourself to a new acquaintance begins from the moment you meet one another. The way another person feels around you is key to making them like you, which makes it essential to adopt a genuinely open attitude and willingness to connect.
The human voice: It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound in the world, probably. It’s the only one that can start a war or say “I love you.” And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don’t listen to them.
And why is that?
How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?
The communication is most powerful tool for building up relationship and it takes to your heights you never imagined.
I’d like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make change in the world.
Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is “hail,” and it has a great definition as well. I’m not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky and hits you on the head.
I’m talking about this definition, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think our words will be received
If we stand on these four things. So what do they stand for?
See if you can guess.
h- Honesty, a- authenticity, i- integrity, l- love
The H, honesty, of course, being true in what you say, being straight and clear.
The A is authenticity, just being you. Not pretending and be natural while talking. Do not have any types of mask.
Friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth,
Which I think is a lovely way to put it.
The I is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody people can trust.
And the L is love.
I don’t mean romantic love; I do mean wishing people well, for two reasons. First of all, I think absolute honesty may not be what we want.
Now go out there test and apply what you learnt today, start making friends, just reading is not enough, the best way to remember something is to practice it.
Anyway, don’t forget to comment me below:-